in case nobody has told you today: you are hella bomb, hella cute, and anyone would be hella lucky to have you
just gonna say this: if someone has social anxiety and they ask you something akin to ‘are you mad at me’ or ‘do you hate me’, it isn’t because they don’t trust you, it’s because their brain literally tells them that all the time
it’s not a personal slight, it’s insecurity caused by mental illness
okay but like…this has to be something that you’re willing to be upfront about negotiating? like if you have some social relationship where one person is in a constant role of needing validation and another is in the constant role of having to provide validation…that is not a very balance or, imo, healthy kind of relationship to be having.
i mean i’ve been on both sides of this and when it’s part of an ongoing relationship it’s very emotionally taxing for everyone involved, so it’s important for the person who isn’t feeling that kind of social anxiety to not invalidate anxious feelings around being liked, but it’s also important that if you are having a lot of feelings about wondering if someone is mad at or hates you to be honest about it and to ask what kind of effect it’s having on the relationship.
other people who don’t have the same or similar experiences as you also have a right to claim terms on a relationship they have with you. it’s really easy to say that because someone has anxiety or whatever else, never do this never say that never blah de blah, but it sets a really toxic environment for a relationship and one that is really stagnant, and doesn’t give people the chance to grow and learn together and doesn’t really allow the relationship to grow either (i don’t mean like grow from friendship to romance. but more along the lines of growing in terms of connecting to each other on a deeper and more mutual level).
anyone who is in any kind of social relationship has a responsibility to contribute as well as to receive, and i certainly take the struggles that people face in doing this very seriously. but having a dynamic where one person is always or almost always in one role or another in a relationship is not really a healthy way of depicting relationships, even if navigating the terms of relationship can be difficult. and it assumes that the relationship and the people in it have nowhere else to go and / or are not capable of moving toward anything other than their current understand of themselves and their relationship(s).
bloodbuzzedohio said: okay but can you imagine if steve actually didn't start breathing right away cause at that point bucky was like 90% soldier, 10% remembering who steve was and 100% confused as hell. i feel like he'd just stand there awkwardly and then find a stick and poke steve with it until he started to move and if that didn't work, he'd jab at his chest and be like, "mission. hello. please breathe. mr mission of mine... please"
bucky starting to panic internally tho omg
I GOT CARRIED AWAY
ye s.. .. umh mm he llo
IS THIS EVEN REAL LIFE AT THIS POINT